My Twitter followers number over 1800 now and many are following, I suspect, because I am open about being a survivor of incest, rape and domestic violence. My childhood suffering has driven a need within me for knowledge and understanding. I’ve read all the self help books I could and I re-trained to do counselling when in my thirties. I trained as a divorce mediator also. I’ve spent over twenty years looking at other people’s lives as well as my own. You can find out more about me in my Amazon Author Bio and on the About Me page of www.EmotionalHealthForEmotionalWealth.co.uk
One theme runs through a lot of my observations: domination. It does not need to be as severe as abuse. It can be as subtle as not saying what you actually want. It may be that one person in a relationship controls the money and, therefore, can chose where the couple live, what they eat, clothes they wear, and where they go. This is an unbalanced relationship. One person has more control than the other.
Negotiating a win win is the most equitable style of living togther so you both get some of what you each want. In a compromise, each person has to give up something to get to the middle, so negotiation is the best way forward.
When a persom is dominant it is being driven by fear and their inadequacies and an inability to cope. They usually have poor communication skills and those could be improved if the dominent person had the incentive to do that work. In my opinion, counselling and personal growth is the only way forward. Sadly for many who are dominent their very fears (particularly of change) keep them trapped and unable to seek help. Frequently destroying a relationship – so sad. Further, not a good example to any children of the relationship.