Wedding bells are very romantic and a beautiful dress is a great attraction. However, in my experience as a Divorce Mediator you would do well to take the quizzes in my book Pre-Marital MOT: A Relationship Inspection available to purchase on this website as a paperback or an e-book BEFORE you live together, conceive children together or get married.
I’m in my second marriage. It’s not perfect but I have learned loads in our 16 years together. My first husband was my childhood sweetheart and I now know we were simply too young – we had no communication skills to resolve conflict. I have spent the last 20+ years listening to individuals and couples about their relationships so I designed this book as a fun way to get the two of you talking about what matters.
This book is a useful self-assessment tool for couples. If your partner is not willing to go through the quizzes and discuss their answers with you alarm bells need to be ringing!
A marriage is so much more than the wedding day. The discussions you have when all ‘loved up’ can set the foundations for the future and you need to build that future on solid information about each other.
Instead of just having fun or great sex or shared interests why not take a look at each other’s character traits? The old saying does still hold true that you need to take a look at your partner’s parents – do you like their values and how they live? Would you want your children to have those people as role models? People do tend to do what their parents did. The worst assumption you can make is that your partner will always want what you want or will do things the way you do them!
How are your negotiating skills as a couple? Do you both work towards win/win when there is a disagreement or does one person try to bully the other into submission? Who wants their own way and at what cost? Think about this long and hard before you even live together let alone get married. Do not make the classic mistake believing that it will be better once you are married or that you can change your partner. If you don’t like your partner’s behaviour now get out of that relationship now!
How is your partner with children – observe to see if you like how they behave and the words they use to children. Would you want that for your own children? What are their ideas about punishment – discuss this before you conceive please. You might get a nasty shock one day otherwise.
The material in Pre-Marital MOT: A Relationship Inspection is designed to get the two of you talking about the issues that matter in the long term. I hope you have a very happy wedding day and a long marriage.
If you prefer to purchase Pre-Marital MOT: A Relationship Inspection from Amazon the ISBN is 978-0-9553698-4-1 and Amazon’s ASIN is B005LSD62A