Japan Today Article

Twitter has allowed me to ‘meet’ people all around the world including the Editor of Japan Today an English language newspaper in Japan.  What a stroke of luck!  He kindly allowed me to send him a press release and then printed it!  I feel very honoured and absolutely thrilled to know that people in Japan know about me and my self help ebooks.  How marvelous the internet is for all of us!  It’s life changing for me!

Here is what was printed in Japan Today:-

“New Help for those with nowhere else to turn…

Tokyo – Domestic violence, rape, bullying, depression and alcoholism are more common in relationships than we care to think.  They are all issues most women don’t ever dare speak about, even to their mothers or closest friends.  But the wall of silence often surrounding them means many people have nowhere to turn for help they desperately need. 

Psychotherapist and Author, Susan Jane Smith, recognizes this is a problem potentially facing Japanese society, among others.  Her self-help book, “Emotional Health for Emotional Wealth” offers practical, sensitive guidance on dealing with these taboo subjects and many forms of emotional pain. 

( It is now available in Japan for the first time via http://Amazon.jp./gp/product/B005FFTNEY)

Subtitled “The View from the Therapist’s Office”, the book also includes chapters on love, parenting through divorce, stress and bereavement.  Smith has over 20 years’ experience as a psychotherapist in the UK and the USA.  She has counselled thousands of women – and men – in ways of coping with all manner of emotional challenges, both within and outside marriage and relationships.

“Nothing shocks me,” she says.  “But I know how difficult it can be for people to speak openly about things like domestic violence or abuse, particularly in non-Western cultures.  My book is designed to help them confront and manage all sorts of types of emotional pain.  This pain needs healing before a person can have the emotional wealth required for a happier life, hence the title of my book.”

“If you feel you can’t speak to anyone about your emotional problems or you just want to better understand how to deal with them, then “Emotional Health for Emotional Wealth” will give you support and guidance.”

Smith’s other self-help book “Pre-Marital MOT: A Relationship Inspection” is also now available in Japan.  It is designed to enable betrothed couples to assess their relationship before the wedding and to highlight and hopefully address potential emotional problems.  As Smith states: “Marriage is so much more than just the ceremony.”

Pre-Marital MOT: A Relationship Inspection” can be downloaded from Amazon on http://amazon.jp/gp/product/B005LSD62A

 Personally, I am very grateful that Japan Today published this information so if you know anyone in Japan please share it with them. 







Comments Off

My Twitter followers number over 1800 now and many are following, I suspect, because I am open about being a survivor of incest, rape and domestic violence.  My childhood suffering has driven a need within me for knowledge and understanding.  I’ve read all the self help books I could and I re-trained to do counselling when in my thirties. I trained as a divorce mediator also.  I’ve spent over twenty years looking at other people’s lives as well as my own.  You can find out more about me in my Amazon Author Bio and on the About Me page of www.EmotionalHealthForEmotionalWealth.co.uk

One theme runs through a lot of my observations:  domination.  It does not need to be as severe as abuse.  It can be as subtle as not saying what you actually want.  It may be that one person in a relationship controls the money and, therefore, can chose where the couple live, what they eat, clothes they wear, and where they go.  This is an unbalanced relationship.  One person has more control than the other.

Negotiating a win win is the most equitable style of living togther so you both get some of what you each want. In a compromise, each person has to give up something to get to the middle, so negotiation is the best way forward.

When a persom is dominant it is being driven by fear and their inadequacies and an inability to cope. They usually have poor communication skills and those could be improved if the dominent person had the incentive to do that work.  In my opinion, counselling and personal growth is the only way forward.  Sadly for many who are dominent their very fears (particularly of change) keep them trapped and unable to seek help.  Frequently destroying a relationship – so sad.  Further, not a good example to any children of the relationship.






Comments Off
They Wear Western Style Lounge Suits!

This picture shocked and disgusted me.  I came across it by accident in the comments on the Facebook page for Southall Black Sisters.  Please take a look for yourself to see what the person said about the Military acting with impunity in India.  I find this barbaric.

I was on that Facebook page to find out about the demonstration outside the Indian High Commission in London which does not seem to be reported by the UK press (7th January 2013).

I went on to try to email the Indian Prime Minister, Manmohan Singh, with this photo but the form would not go through.  I sent the photo to the Indian High Commissioner in London so if you think you could say something about your feelings about rape and the photo above, his email address is:  hc.office@hcilondon.in  The High Commissioner is Dr. J. Bhagwati.

I sent the photo to Mr Hague the Foreign Secretary for the UK.  Filled in the form for the Prime Minister to know about this too.  Mr Hague can be contacted by emailing: haguew@parliamentuk

I also sent the photo to the world press including the BBC, ITV, Sky News and Reuters.  I a wrote to Janet Street-Porter because she is a journalist/presenter that I admire.  The photo also went to a woman’s magazine in India -Feminina.  Further to ‘Loose Women’ an English tv programme.

I will be tweeting about this blog – will you?

What can you do? Apathy is not an option because this is an international issue for women.  It is not acceptable to just close your eyes and say I cannot make a difference – you can.  Also don’t think that this is just a problem in underdeveloped countries…horrific abuse happens to women in the UK and the USA and Europe.

Rape is a crime of violence not sex.  It is perpetrated by inadequate men who think it will make them feel better through the illusion of power, control, domination and humiliation. Not all men rape.  Some men get raped.  This is an issue for all civilized societies.

Today a friend wrote to me eloquently about this and I repeat it here with her permission:

“Because countries like India are making great strides economically and because many of their educated classes speak excellent English, we tend to lose sight of the fact that the country is light years behind The West culturally and sociologically.  This also applies to most countries in the Middle East [and I would suspect Africa, China and Russia].  The fact that their men wear smart western-style lounge suits does not make them civilised by our standards.

Globalisation has brought such matters to the fore, but I think we are deluding ourselves if we think things will change [and I would add - without media pressure].

So-called multi-culturalism in the UK is turning the clock back here as far as women are concerned.  The UK government should do more to stop arranged marriages, ‘honour’ killings, and other barbaric practices that continue in a country where women have equality by law.  The government is far too lenient and certainly should not bow to the Muslim lobby that wants Sharia law to prevail over British law in certain circumstances.

Comments please?




Comments Off
The Trouble with Porn – India, Rape & the Police.

Pornography allows men to think of a woman’s body as just an object.  If they look at porn enough it is easy to forget that the person in front of them during sex is a human being with feelings.  The rape levels in India are not helped by the level of pornography and pornographic ‘jokes’ which obviously are not funny.

When there is a patriarchal culture there is an erroneous belief that men are superior and thus women inferior.  This further enhances an inadequate man’s belief that he can behave however he wishes, especially sexually…sexual harassment, domestic violence, rape.

Attitudes need to change for India to be accepted into the international community of our modern high tech world.  People know very quickly about behaviour in all countries now that the internet connects us.

The USA did a wonderful job (decades ago) of educating it’s police force by using rape crisis groups to teach them about what is acceptable and what is not.  Now it is time for India and other countries to force their police to think through their behaviour and take complaints seriously.  Laws alone won’t do the necessary – if the police ignore complaints people won’t complain.  That is what I understand is happening in India.  Where else?

What is your police force’s rape protocol?  Do you know?  Maybe it is time you asked!

Please see what I have to say about rapists and marital rape in particular in my Amazon Self Help E-book:-

2 Replies

By Susan Jane Smith B.Sc.


Forget ‘Dancing Queen ‘ (song by Abba) I think I’ve become the Self-Help Queen now that my 23 books/e-books are for sale on Amazon!

I am a survivor of incest, rape, domestic violence and the miscarriage of my baby.  I spent 3 years in counselling in the U.S.A. and turned my life around personally and professionally.  I re-trained.

Over 20 years as a Psychotherapist and 5 years as a Divorce Mediator followed.  Now I am writing self-help e-books to help other people.  I hope my books will inspire you to change your life if you are sad, angry, stressed, depressed or unhappy.

My 17 e-books in the Little Book Series of Emotional Health for Emotional Wealth were written to give you a starting place – some basic information and support.  Through Amazon they are selling world-wide:  U.S.A., Canada, U.K., France, Germany, Spain, Italy, India, Brazil, Japan, China and via http://www.Amazon.com in Australia and New Zealand.

If you read self-help books please check these out:-

Sexual Abuse & Incest

Physical & Emotional Abuse Hurts the World as Well as The Child

Rape Not Sexual Assault

Charming Men and Chauvinists (about domestic violence)

What Passes for Passion on TV (about loving too much/obsessing)

Walking on Egg Shells (about anger)

My Drinking Isn’t A Problem!

Feeling Down?

Parenting Your Way Through Divorce

Food and Thought

Superwoman Does Not Exist (about stress)

Loss is Part of Life (about bereavement and other loss)

Why Walk Into a Therapist’s Office?

What Every 16 Year Old Needs to Know About Love

How a Functional Family Might Look Like

How Not To Be A Doormat


Comments Off
Profile Update! Social Media Takes Time!

Well, I have had a busy few days updating my profile on www.Goodreads.com, www.facebook.com/EmotionalHealthForEmotionalWealth.co.uk, Linked In, and have still to do Google + and Twitter!  I have also got my website designers to update my website so take a look at the store page in a couple of days – it should show 23 books for sale by Christmas!

Updating my biography has taken the longest and I am publishing the updated version here too just in case you want to know more about me!

I have been motivated by authors like Louise Hay, Susan Jeffers, Susan Forward, Rhonda Byrne, and Paul McKenna.  Now it is my chance to inspire positive change in other people.  I turned to books to learn about how to heal and create a happier life.  As a survivor of incest, rape, domestic violence and the miscarriage of my baby, I went against my family norm and undertook counselling to sort out my feelings.  I turned my life around and hope that you will be able to gain some insight and support from my self-help e-books.

After a career in admin I gained a Bachelor of Science degree in Business Management in my thirties.  I then re-trained because I felt that there had to be more to life than pushing paper around!

I was a Psychotherapist in private practice from 1987 until 2009.  I was born in New Hampshire, U.S.A. and because of my English Mother, I grew up in Lydney, Gloucestershire, England.  I returned to this area and live with the tranquillity of the beautiful Forest of Dean.

Previously, I had a successful counselling practice in Milton Keynes, Buckinghamshire, England for 17 years.  My professional education comes mainly from the U.S.A. where I was awarded a degree in Business Management and went on to study for a master’s degree in community psychology.  My Father died and I returned to England with my Mother.

I was also a Divorce Mediator for five years with the Family Mediators Association and a Professional Practice Consultant for the U.K. College of Family Mediation.  I bring that broad range of experience to my books “Emotional Health for Emotional Wealth” and “Pre-Marital MOT: A Relationship Inspection”.  See the About Me page of my website: www.EmotionalHealthForEmotionalWealth.co.uk for more information about my training and experience.  Both of these books are currently available in paperback from my website or via the book stores.  Both are Kindle e-books, available on my website also, and are e-pub available for other e-book readers via the major retailer’s on-line book stores in the U.K. and the U.S.A.

My latest book “Hugs & Emotional Wealth Change the World” is about how people can be kinder to each other using hugs and take personal responsibility for their quality of emotional wealth by understanding themselves better.  Thus the individual’s efforts will change the world as more people take care of themselves and thus others and the world in general.  Please do take a look at this book for all our sakes and especially for those of your children and grandchildren.

My Little Book Series of Emotional Health for Emotional Wealth are re-packaged sections from the original book formulated as e-books.  They allow people to purchase information about specific topics and see what I have to say about them!  Amazon now offers:

Sexual Abuse & Incest

Physical & Emotional Abuse Hurts the World as Well as The Child

Rape – Not Sexual Assault

Charming Men and Chauvinists

What Passes for Passion on TV

Walking on Egg Shells

Worry Doesn’t Fix Anything

My Drinking Isn’t a problem!

Feeling Down?

Parenting Your Way Through Divorce

Food and Thought

Superwoman Does Not Exist

Loss is Part of Life

Why Walk Into A Therapists’ Office?  (Journey, Benefits and When Therapy Won’t Work)

What Every 16 Year Old Needs to Know about Love

How a Functional Family Might Look

How Not to be a Doormat

I would like people to stop and think about their relationships and would love people to feel empowered to create an emotionally wealthy world!





Comments Off
Rape Not Sexual Assault

Have you ever wonded about the kind of person who rapes?  See my latest e-book Rape Not Sexual Assault now for sale on www.EmotionalHealthForEmotionalWealth.co.uk £1 and on Amazon $1.99

I spent years listening to the horrific experiences of women (yes, a sterotype but the most frequent) who had been raped.  I prefer the term rape, personally, as it is the more terrifying and I think that sexual assault makes it all sound just a little bit to clean and tidy.  Yes, I do understand that there are sexual assaults that are abuse, but do not include full penetrative intercourse.  All of it is worth the public’s understanding and empathy.

Empathy for the rapist – yes, because he is a human being who is not adequate and in my book Rape Not Sexual Assault and in Emotional Health for Emotional Wealth I talk about some of the psychological profiles connected to rapists…not pleasant reading.  Still, I would have them put to sleep by lethal injections because as far as I know there really is no cure and once released from prison (the few who actually get there) they are most likely to rape again.  It is about meeting their own needs and that is what they want to do most.  There is no concern for the victim.

Yes, men get raped too and not just gay men.  Old women get raped.  It is not just the young female with a short skirt out late at night.  This is a crime of violence and about the need for power, control and domination with a desire for humiliation thrown in for good measure.

I believe society needs to talk more about this subject so I hope you will educate yourself by reading my book.  If you have survived a rape or a sexual assault I hope that you will find some useful information in there too.



Comments Off
An Example of Racism?

Actually I think this is not an example of people being racist.  This case to me seems more about men believing they still have the right to “own” a female and the right to do whatever they wish to do with a female.

Stay with me on this…I really am not male bashing.  It is just unacceptable behaviour in England today and I would say it needs to be illegal everywhere in the world now for the sake of the youngsters who will be taking care of us in our old age.  Their attitudes will affect all our lives when we are old and vulnerable.  I don’t want to live in a world that thinks sexual abuse is ok when I am too old to take care of myself – do you?

What I am going back to was reported in the British media on the 8th May 2012.  It is where 8 British-born Pakistani men and an Afgan man were convicted of sexual abuse.

It was said by a reporter at that time that this particular kind of gang abuse was rare, but that still within some cultures living in the U.K. it was acceptable for men to groom a vulnerable girl, have sex (meaning rape) and then pass her along to other men.  What I found even more horrific was that those other men would all consider this a wonderful favour and that because they shared a female they would be closer friends.  Where, oh, where does that thinking come from and how could it still be acceptable to any human being in 2012?

That is why I don’t think this is about race in particular (although I have to admit that the girls were not from the same culture as the men).  I think this is chauvinism and a rampant need for power and control on the part of the men.  In my opinion, it says to me that the men feel inadequate as human beings.  Not an angle I see talked about often – do you?

There are kind and caring, decent men from all cultures who would not want this done to their daughters and who would not rape other men’s daughters.  If you feel good about yourself as a person you do not need to take power over another human being.  Ultimately that is what rape is about power, control, domination with a penis just being the weapon used.  And, in my opinion, it was rape even if grooming took place first and there was a lack of resistence because of it.

Do you know any one who still believes that it is acceptable thinking that a female body is just an object to be used as a male decides?  If so, they need psychological help now!

All men, women, children (and animals) deserve to be treated with respect.


Comments Off
Susan Price’s Book Review of “Emotional Health for Emotional Wealth”

I requested Susan Price’s permission to re-print her book review here of my book Emotional Health For Emotional Wealth not just for “puffery”, but because I thought she did a brilliant job of a balanced and heartfelt review from one author of another.  It was originally published on IEBR.  We are both members of a professional writers’ group, yet because we work through the internet we have never met.  Susan Price works in a totally different genre and for me that is what made her comments about my work so valuable.  This is what she had to say:-

Susan Jane Smith’s photo shows someone very like the ideal grandmother: smiling, kind, wise, good humoured, ready to listen, and understand.

Her book shows this to be an accurate assessment.  Life experience has taught her wisdom.  Twenty years of counselling means that nothing surprises or shocks her.  Her advice may not be what you want to hear, but it’s probably what you need to hear.

Susan Jane Smith herself says that this is ‘another self-help book.’  What makes it different is the fine anger underlying the compassion and advice, and the passion for helping people to overcome the emotional pain she suffered herself.

Emotional pain means you cannot be healthy:  you cannot live at ease with yourself.  Nor can you be emotionally wealthy.  You may have material wealh – you may be driven to tirelessly acquire more and more ‘success’ – but emotional pain prevents you from relaxing, or simply, wholeheartedly enjoying anything.  The pain forever chafes and nags. 

It can be so established that it seems normal, yet it still hinders people, adversely influencing their choices in careers, in partners, life.

Susan Jane Smith knows all too well that attaining the peace of ‘emotional health’ isn’t easy.  Habits are hard to change, and trying often rouses old terrors:  but many live with such distress they are willing to work hard to be rid of it:  to endure the nightmares, the withdrawal, the loss of family and friends…whatever it takes.

Susan Smith went through this struggle herself, and relates how, after years of counselling, she woke one day to a puzzling sensation:  an absence of the emotional pain that had chafed her for so long.  The experience set her on a crusade:  to qualify as a counsellor so she could relieve others’ pain.

Her message is simple:  if you don’t like your life, change it.  If you can’t understand what is causing your pain, don’t know what to change, or how to begin – then find a therapist to help you puzzle it out, and encourge you when it gets tough.

Her advice is excellent, but she doesn’t expect you simply to accept it, and recommends many other titles and organisations for consultation.  The book is a veritable self-therapy source-book.

She discusses the pain caused by the abuse of children, domestic violence and rape – and also the addictions and compulsive habits so often employed as a desperate way of controlling the resulting emotional pain:  alcoholism and other drug abuse, compulsive eating and starving, over-work and self-harm.

But the advice is always based on what Susan Smith has found to be pratical and effective.  It is admiraly down-to-earth and realistic.

She has counselled abusers and rapists, and although she has compassion for them, her attitude is refreshingly steely: “My understanding from the people I have worked with who perpetrated abuse is that they simply ‘wanted to’ and could.  They have a callous disregard for the victim…One man said…it would be a crime [only] if the victim told the police.  Distorted thinking!”

The book’s empowering anger is inspired by injustice, cruelty and apathy.  a Telegraph headline – ‘Child Abuse Won’t be Overcome Until We Define What It is’ – makes her demand:  Do governments and social services still not know what it is?  She provides, from her experience, a full definition for their assistance. [http://authorselectric.blogspot.co.uk/2012/01/physical-and-emotional-abuse-hurts.html]

She has listened to the damaged adult victims of every kind of child abuse:  children hit with pokers, constantly ridiculed, left hungry and cold for days, raped.  Her fervent wish, I think, is for us all to sort ourselves out and stop treating each other so badly!

As the old Russian tales says, ‘There would be no suffering on earth…if only we were kind to each other.’

Sadly, that time will never come, but Susan Jane Smith will battle on – an odd, but brave, shining knight.

Almost everyone would gain some insight, some help from reading this book – and if you are one of the many bruised and reeling from a cruel childhood, or rape, or assault by a partner – to name only a few possible traumas – I think this book would be a strong, supportive, wise friend.”

To learn more about Susan Price please see:










Comments Off