Grab It Whilst You Can!

Way back in the 1960′s, when I was a teenager, I read a book about two lads having a great time with life and I believe that paperback was called “Grab It While You Can”.  The book has long since been lost or given away and the author’s name a mystery to me now.  Still the title stuck with me as a way of living your life.  Life seems to get shorter with age so I am firmly of the belief that you need to get on living your dreams or whatever life you want to create for yourself.

A couple of weeks ago I was traumatised when I went to see an elderly Aunt only to discover that she had fallen upstairs in her house and could not summon help.  I had to get the police to break a window and a lovely ambulance man dove through and let us in.  I had expected to find her dead, yet what we found was a crumpled heap -  cold but alive.  She had been in her very cold bedroom, on the floor in a nightie, for about 4 hours.  Still she was lucky and is now in hospital and recovering.  She looked so frail when I found her.

The trauma for me was that it re-created when I found my Mother dead.  In both instances my body’s reaction, as I called the emergency services, was to shake uncontrollably.  It has taken me all this time to be able to feel normal again.  My reactions are probably worse because I struggle with Post Traumatic Stress as a result of abuse in childhood. 

Nevertheless, it has been a good reminder that we all need to grab life NOW!  I have so much I want to do and time seems to be shortening.  When young you feel as if you have forever to accomplish your dreams.  Not so…get on with it.

Bereavement and ill health are forms of loss.  You can also experience loss and need to grieve when you lose a job, a pet, a friend, a relationship.  Learn to understand that the process of grief is, in simplistic terms: feelings of unreality (shock), sadness, anger (yes even if unreasonably at the person who has died and abandoned you) and acceptance. 

This is not a linear progression.  You can be sad one minute and angry the next.  The feelings can come at inappropriate times like whilst shopping.  The first year is the hardest and the second is slightly easier to bear when there is a serious loss.  If you feel stuck in grief do get some counselling to help you move on.  Whatever you have lost cannot be returned into your life by holding on to the pain of the loss.

Luckily in my thirties I experienced ten family deaths in six years.  A lot for any person.  I now consider it fortunate as I was forced to learn to cope through those losses.  My e-book Loss is Part of Life is available in this website’s book store or via Amazon worldwide.  It was written with the intention to help provide support and understanding.

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Rape Not Sexual Assault

Have you ever wonded about the kind of person who rapes?  See my latest e-book Rape Not Sexual Assault now for sale on www.EmotionalHealthForEmotionalWealth.co.uk £1 and on Amazon $1.99

I spent years listening to the horrific experiences of women (yes, a sterotype but the most frequent) who had been raped.  I prefer the term rape, personally, as it is the more terrifying and I think that sexual assault makes it all sound just a little bit to clean and tidy.  Yes, I do understand that there are sexual assaults that are abuse, but do not include full penetrative intercourse.  All of it is worth the public’s understanding and empathy.

Empathy for the rapist – yes, because he is a human being who is not adequate and in my book Rape Not Sexual Assault and in Emotional Health for Emotional Wealth I talk about some of the psychological profiles connected to rapists…not pleasant reading.  Still, I would have them put to sleep by lethal injections because as far as I know there really is no cure and once released from prison (the few who actually get there) they are most likely to rape again.  It is about meeting their own needs and that is what they want to do most.  There is no concern for the victim.

Yes, men get raped too and not just gay men.  Old women get raped.  It is not just the young female with a short skirt out late at night.  This is a crime of violence and about the need for power, control and domination with a desire for humiliation thrown in for good measure.

I believe society needs to talk more about this subject so I hope you will educate yourself by reading my book.  If you have survived a rape or a sexual assault I hope that you will find some useful information in there too.

 

 

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