They Wear Western Style Lounge Suits!

This picture shocked and disgusted me.  I came across it by accident in the comments on the Facebook page for Southall Black Sisters.  Please take a look for yourself to see what the person said about the Military acting with impunity in India.  I find this barbaric.

I was on that Facebook page to find out about the demonstration outside the Indian High Commission in London which does not seem to be reported by the UK press (7th January 2013).

I went on to try to email the Indian Prime Minister, Manmohan Singh, with this photo but the form would not go through.  I sent the photo to the Indian High Commissioner in London so if you think you could say something about your feelings about rape and the photo above, his email address is:  The High Commissioner is Dr. J. Bhagwati.

I sent the photo to Mr Hague the Foreign Secretary for the UK.  Filled in the form for the Prime Minister to know about this too.  Mr Hague can be contacted by emailing: haguew@parliamentuk

I also sent the photo to the world press including the BBC, ITV, Sky News and Reuters.  I a wrote to Janet Street-Porter because she is a journalist/presenter that I admire.  The photo also went to a woman’s magazine in India -Feminina.  Further to ‘Loose Women’ an English tv programme.

I will be tweeting about this blog – will you?

What can you do? Apathy is not an option because this is an international issue for women.  It is not acceptable to just close your eyes and say I cannot make a difference – you can.  Also don’t think that this is just a problem in underdeveloped countries…horrific abuse happens to women in the UK and the USA and Europe.

Rape is a crime of violence not sex.  It is perpetrated by inadequate men who think it will make them feel better through the illusion of power, control, domination and humiliation. Not all men rape.  Some men get raped.  This is an issue for all civilized societies.

Today a friend wrote to me eloquently about this and I repeat it here with her permission:

“Because countries like India are making great strides economically and because many of their educated classes speak excellent English, we tend to lose sight of the fact that the country is light years behind The West culturally and sociologically.  This also applies to most countries in the Middle East [and I would suspect Africa, China and Russia].  The fact that their men wear smart western-style lounge suits does not make them civilised by our standards.

Globalisation has brought such matters to the fore, but I think we are deluding ourselves if we think things will change [and I would add - without media pressure].

So-called multi-culturalism in the UK is turning the clock back here as far as women are concerned.  The UK government should do more to stop arranged marriages, ‘honour’ killings, and other barbaric practices that continue in a country where women have equality by law.  The government is far too lenient and certainly should not bow to the Muslim lobby that wants Sharia law to prevail over British law in certain circumstances.

Comments please?




Comments Off
The Trouble with Porn – India, Rape & the Police.

Pornography allows men to think of a woman’s body as just an object.  If they look at porn enough it is easy to forget that the person in front of them during sex is a human being with feelings.  The rape levels in India are not helped by the level of pornography and pornographic ‘jokes’ which obviously are not funny.

When there is a patriarchal culture there is an erroneous belief that men are superior and thus women inferior.  This further enhances an inadequate man’s belief that he can behave however he wishes, especially sexually…sexual harassment, domestic violence, rape.

Attitudes need to change for India to be accepted into the international community of our modern high tech world.  People know very quickly about behaviour in all countries now that the internet connects us.

The USA did a wonderful job (decades ago) of educating it’s police force by using rape crisis groups to teach them about what is acceptable and what is not.  Now it is time for India and other countries to force their police to think through their behaviour and take complaints seriously.  Laws alone won’t do the necessary – if the police ignore complaints people won’t complain.  That is what I understand is happening in India.  Where else?

What is your police force’s rape protocol?  Do you know?  Maybe it is time you asked!

Please see what I have to say about rapists and marital rape in particular in my Amazon Self Help E-book:-

2 Replies

Rhonda Byrne (author of The Secret) also wrote The Power (about love) and The Magic which is about gratitude.  Yes, I know lots of people have slated Rhonda for The Secret and trying to get people to understand the law of attraction.  Still, I think that what she has written is correct and needed saying.  It is no different really than cognitive therapy which fundamentally is that: what you think (cognition) is what you get in your life.

I have long been aware that the richest of people have nothing if they cannot experience gratitude for what they have – whether it’s money, property, love or family.

A friend recently lent me a book by Oonagh Shanley-Toffolo entitled The Voice of Silence (ISBN 0-7126-1445-1).  In this book Oonagh recounts a situation dealt with by Mother Theresa in Calcutta, India.

Mother Theresa used to go out and collect the poor dying in the streets.  One day she came across a woman still alive, but with maggots already beginning to eat her flesh.  Mother Theresa took the woman into her hospice, cleaned her up and dressed her in a clean, white sari…the woman’s last words are quoted as:-  “I was praying to God I wouldn’t die in the gutter”.  Moments later she died.  She had gratitude.

Sitting in my nice, clean home with food in my stomach I feel very humble when I think of Mother Theresa and in particular that woman.  I have so much to be grateful for in my life.  Yet, sometimes I do forget.  I fume over small things that truly do not matter.  Then something reminds me and I get back to being grateful for all that I am and all that I have in life.  I am very blessed.  I have seen hard times and have overcome them.  I believe that there just has to be God (or The Universe) taking care of me.

The Desiderata hangs above my desk and provides support in times of need.  This poem quoted by Oonagh, whose author is unknown, also gives me strength.

A strong woman works out every day to keep her body in shape…but a woman of strength builds relationships to keep her soul in shape.

A strong woman isn’t afraid of anything…but a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of fear.

A strong woman won’t let anyone get the better of her…but the woman of strenght gives the best of herself to everyone.

A strong woman makes mistakes and avoids the same in the future…a woman of strength reliases life’s mistakes can also be unexpected blessings, and capitalises on them.

A strong woman wears a look of confidence on her face…but a woman of strength wears grace.

A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey…but the woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey she will become strong.”

I am so very grateful for my journey.  What is it that you are grateful about?




Comments Off