Divorce!

Shockingly my 78 year old husband, after 17 years together, has announced he wants us to lead separate lives.  I have decided that I will move out and divorce him because I do not want to spend whatever life I have left in a loveless marriage.

I am profoundly sad.  I also know that I still have the strength to survive as I am only 63 years old.  Between tears I have focused on doing all the practical things required:  finding somewhere else to live, packing up, finding suppliers for the new lifestyle, finding movers to take what furniture I still own.  I will be taking the rescued dog with me as I paid for him and he is registered in my name.  The 7 rescued cats are a bit more difficult!  He wants 2 of them, but I have decided to take them with me because I am the one who does the food and care-taking on a daily basis.

When my husband made his announcement he also said he did not want a divorce because of the money it would cost him.  I do not want more than I am legally entitled to and my lawyer does say we are considered a long-term marriage.  Thus a financial settlement is ahead.  My husband is in for a surprise.

I was a divorce mediator for over 5 years and have gone and photocopied as many of the financial and legal documents that I could find in his desk.  I am including this information here because it will really help to know what his assets are and what the account numbers are etc.  People are expected to make a declaration of assets, yet I have seen people (particularly wealthy men) try to hide what monies are around.  My advice to anyone in a similar position is that old saying ‘possession is 9/10ths of the law’.

I have started re-reading “The WHICH? Guide to Divorce” by Imogen Clout.  It is a very practical guide to the legal and financial arrangements and includes some further information about issues affecting children.  I would recommend not only reading this guide, but if you do have children, please take a look at my e-book “Parenting Your Way Through Divorce”.  You do need to put the needs of the children first.

Grief is shock, sadness, anger, and acceptance and it is not a linear progression.  You go in and out of the various stages.  Luckily as a Psychotherapist for over 20 years I do understand how to grieve well.  If you need more information do take a look at my e-book “Loss is Part of Life”.

I can see a new life opening up and will do my best to embrace whatever is ahead.

 

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Japan Today Article

Twitter has allowed me to ‘meet’ people all around the world including the Editor of Japan Today an English language newspaper in Japan.  What a stroke of luck!  He kindly allowed me to send him a press release and then printed it!  I feel very honoured and absolutely thrilled to know that people in Japan know about me and my self help ebooks.  How marvelous the internet is for all of us!  It’s life changing for me!

Here is what was printed in Japan Today:-

“New Help for those with nowhere else to turn…

Tokyo – Domestic violence, rape, bullying, depression and alcoholism are more common in relationships than we care to think.  They are all issues most women don’t ever dare speak about, even to their mothers or closest friends.  But the wall of silence often surrounding them means many people have nowhere to turn for help they desperately need. 

Psychotherapist and Author, Susan Jane Smith, recognizes this is a problem potentially facing Japanese society, among others.  Her self-help book, “Emotional Health for Emotional Wealth” offers practical, sensitive guidance on dealing with these taboo subjects and many forms of emotional pain. 

( It is now available in Japan for the first time via http://Amazon.jp./gp/product/B005FFTNEY)

Subtitled “The View from the Therapist’s Office”, the book also includes chapters on love, parenting through divorce, stress and bereavement.  Smith has over 20 years’ experience as a psychotherapist in the UK and the USA.  She has counselled thousands of women – and men – in ways of coping with all manner of emotional challenges, both within and outside marriage and relationships.

“Nothing shocks me,” she says.  “But I know how difficult it can be for people to speak openly about things like domestic violence or abuse, particularly in non-Western cultures.  My book is designed to help them confront and manage all sorts of types of emotional pain.  This pain needs healing before a person can have the emotional wealth required for a happier life, hence the title of my book.”

“If you feel you can’t speak to anyone about your emotional problems or you just want to better understand how to deal with them, then “Emotional Health for Emotional Wealth” will give you support and guidance.”

Smith’s other self-help book “Pre-Marital MOT: A Relationship Inspection” is also now available in Japan.  It is designed to enable betrothed couples to assess their relationship before the wedding and to highlight and hopefully address potential emotional problems.  As Smith states: “Marriage is so much more than just the ceremony.”

Pre-Marital MOT: A Relationship Inspection” can be downloaded from Amazon on http://amazon.jp/gp/product/B005LSD62A

 Personally, I am very grateful that Japan Today published this information so if you know anyone in Japan please share it with them. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Creating Healthy Emotions!

Did you know that this website (www.EmotionalHealthForEmotionalWealth.co.uk) has a sister site in the making?  We recently delivered our draft to the designer for www.HealthyEmotions.co.uk and it will launch within the next few weeks.  My business partner (Elaine Barnes) and I are very excited about this project.  We are intending to bring audio material to people with dyslexia and those people who have similar difficulties with reading.  The focus will be on emotional issues because that is where our expertise lies – we are both experienced Counsellors..

Thus, I have been reading the e-book Like A Virgin by Richard Branson to see if I can learn to think like an entrepreneur!  I admire not only his business expertise, but the fact that he thinks “outside the box”.  The more research I have done into dyslexia the more it appears that thinking differently to other people may well be a hallmark of someone using dyslexia to develop creative solutions.  Just because a person did not fit into the conventional educational system does in no way mean that they are stupid.  Being a square peg in the round hole of academia may be uncomfortable and alternative learning found.

Since Sir Richard Branson (founder of the Virgin Group of businesses) is one of the most successful entrepreneurs in the world, what he has to say about business struck me as appropriate learning for me.  My bachelor’s degree is in business management, but from 1985, so well out of date!  Tips that I have learnt from reading Like A Virgin:- take calculated risks, be willing to change your mind or direction if something isn’t working, focus on the future – don’t dwell on mistakes, bring talented people together, communication is key – listen to customers and staff.  Above all have fun!

There is a lot of other knowledge in Like A Virgin so I would thoroughly recommend you purchase a copy for yourself if you are in business.

Watch my blogs at www.Goodreads.com for more of my thoughts about what Healthy Emotions Ltd. can learn from Virgin!

Please contact us at Healthy Emotions if you are dyslexic or have a loved one who is dyslexic.  We would like to hear from you about your experiences.

Email:  Susan@HealthyEmotions.co.uk or Elaine@HealthyEmotions.co.uk

 

 

 

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SELF HELP QUEEN!

By Susan Jane Smith B.Sc.

 

Forget ‘Dancing Queen ‘ (song by Abba) I think I’ve become the Self-Help Queen now that my 23 books/e-books are for sale on Amazon!

I am a survivor of incest, rape, domestic violence and the miscarriage of my baby.  I spent 3 years in counselling in the U.S.A. and turned my life around personally and professionally.  I re-trained.

Over 20 years as a Psychotherapist and 5 years as a Divorce Mediator followed.  Now I am writing self-help e-books to help other people.  I hope my books will inspire you to change your life if you are sad, angry, stressed, depressed or unhappy.

My 17 e-books in the Little Book Series of Emotional Health for Emotional Wealth were written to give you a starting place – some basic information and support.  Through Amazon they are selling world-wide:  U.S.A., Canada, U.K., France, Germany, Spain, Italy, India, Brazil, Japan, China and via http://www.Amazon.com in Australia and New Zealand.

If you read self-help books please check these out:-

Sexual Abuse & Incest

Physical & Emotional Abuse Hurts the World as Well as The Child

Rape Not Sexual Assault

Charming Men and Chauvinists (about domestic violence)

What Passes for Passion on TV (about loving too much/obsessing)

Walking on Egg Shells (about anger)

My Drinking Isn’t A Problem!

Feeling Down?

Parenting Your Way Through Divorce

Food and Thought

Superwoman Does Not Exist (about stress)

Loss is Part of Life (about bereavement and other loss)

Why Walk Into a Therapist’s Office?

What Every 16 Year Old Needs to Know About Love

How a Functional Family Might Look Like

How Not To Be A Doormat

 

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Profile Update! Social Media Takes Time!
Author

Well, I have had a busy few days updating my profile on www.Goodreads.com, www.facebook.com/EmotionalHealthForEmotionalWealth.co.uk, Linked In, and have still to do Google + and Twitter!  I have also got my website designers to update my website so take a look at the store page in a couple of days – it should show 23 books for sale by Christmas!

Updating my biography has taken the longest and I am publishing the updated version here too just in case you want to know more about me!

I have been motivated by authors like Louise Hay, Susan Jeffers, Susan Forward, Rhonda Byrne, and Paul McKenna.  Now it is my chance to inspire positive change in other people.  I turned to books to learn about how to heal and create a happier life.  As a survivor of incest, rape, domestic violence and the miscarriage of my baby, I went against my family norm and undertook counselling to sort out my feelings.  I turned my life around and hope that you will be able to gain some insight and support from my self-help e-books.

After a career in admin I gained a Bachelor of Science degree in Business Management in my thirties.  I then re-trained because I felt that there had to be more to life than pushing paper around!

I was a Psychotherapist in private practice from 1987 until 2009.  I was born in New Hampshire, U.S.A. and because of my English Mother, I grew up in Lydney, Gloucestershire, England.  I returned to this area and live with the tranquillity of the beautiful Forest of Dean.

Previously, I had a successful counselling practice in Milton Keynes, Buckinghamshire, England for 17 years.  My professional education comes mainly from the U.S.A. where I was awarded a degree in Business Management and went on to study for a master’s degree in community psychology.  My Father died and I returned to England with my Mother.

I was also a Divorce Mediator for five years with the Family Mediators Association and a Professional Practice Consultant for the U.K. College of Family Mediation.  I bring that broad range of experience to my books “Emotional Health for Emotional Wealth” and “Pre-Marital MOT: A Relationship Inspection”.  See the About Me page of my website: www.EmotionalHealthForEmotionalWealth.co.uk for more information about my training and experience.  Both of these books are currently available in paperback from my website or via the book stores.  Both are Kindle e-books, available on my website also, and are e-pub available for other e-book readers via the major retailer’s on-line book stores in the U.K. and the U.S.A.

My latest book “Hugs & Emotional Wealth Change the World” is about how people can be kinder to each other using hugs and take personal responsibility for their quality of emotional wealth by understanding themselves better.  Thus the individual’s efforts will change the world as more people take care of themselves and thus others and the world in general.  Please do take a look at this book for all our sakes and especially for those of your children and grandchildren.

My Little Book Series of Emotional Health for Emotional Wealth are re-packaged sections from the original book formulated as e-books.  They allow people to purchase information about specific topics and see what I have to say about them!  Amazon now offers:

Sexual Abuse & Incest

Physical & Emotional Abuse Hurts the World as Well as The Child

Rape – Not Sexual Assault

Charming Men and Chauvinists

What Passes for Passion on TV

Walking on Egg Shells

Worry Doesn’t Fix Anything

My Drinking Isn’t a problem!

Feeling Down?

Parenting Your Way Through Divorce

Food and Thought

Superwoman Does Not Exist

Loss is Part of Life

Why Walk Into A Therapists’ Office?  (Journey, Benefits and When Therapy Won’t Work)

What Every 16 Year Old Needs to Know about Love

How a Functional Family Might Look

How Not to be a Doormat

I would like people to stop and think about their relationships and would love people to feel empowered to create an emotionally wealthy world!

 

 

 

 

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Mini KOBO and Digital Technology

Now you need to understand that I am not technologically minded.  Yes, as an electrically published author, I do know how to use the computer for writing and that’s as far as it goes.  Thus, my adventure into buying an MP4 Player took several hours on www.Amazon.co.uk as I tried to assess the differences between an MP3 Player and the MP4 and then what all the different makers were offering!

I did buy an MP4 player for £14.99 because that seemed a reasonable price to waste if I hated it.  Well, it’s arrived and is lovely to look at and to hold and it promises to give me sterio for music (apparently I can download music to it).  Further, it gives me an FM radio it says, video capability, a camera, and the ability to read e-books on it!  Great if only I could figure out the instructions about how to make it all work.  I need to find a teenager I think!

When I bought my Kindle about 18 months ago it was love at first sight.  I loved it from the moment I held it and felt that it was just as good to read on as to read a paperback book.  Yet, I’ve just been seduced by a Mini Kobo (another e-book reader).  A totally different experience.  It was only £59.99 from W H Smith (bookshop in England) and is tiny by comparison to my Kindle but still readable.  It’s light as a feather to hold and great for the handbag, too.  Just adorable.

My justification for buying a second e-book reader is that I have just had two of my books (Emotional Health for Emotional Wealth and Pre-Marital MOT: A Relationship Inspection) formatted by Matt Horner at ebookpartnerships so that they can be distributed through Gardeners Books Ltd (England) and Ingrams (USA) to the large retail book sellers like Waterstones, Foyles, Tesco, Barnes & Noble etc.  Buy purchasing a copy of my books via my Kobo I will be able to check that the royalty payments system is working well!

Are you sad, angry, stressed or in an unhappy relationship?  Buy for your Kobo or Kindle Emotional Health for Emotional Wealth.  You can also purchase my books via my own website: www.EmotionalHealthForEmotionalWealth.co.uk

 

 

 

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E-Book Publishing Adventure

Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L.James has sold brilliantly and yes, I am jealous that my book Emotional Health For Emotional Wealth is selling slowly.  What I wrote as a Psychotherapist is the polar opposite of the ‘mummy porn’ which includes sadomasochism in Fifty Shades.  My husband wants to know why I don’t write books like that as they make money – well, I would not dream of it, because what you read affects what your mind is willing to tolerate in real life and, in my opinion, Fifty Shades opens women up to tolerating abuse in their sexual lives.

This promped me to take a second look at what Rachel Abbott (author of Only the Innocent) wrote as a guest blog on www.AuthorsElectric.co.uk  (30 July 2012) about marketing e-books.  My paperback of Emotional Health for Emotional Wealth sold at Foyles and Waterstones so I investigated how to get the e-book sold there too.  It already sells on www.Amazon.com and www.Amazon.co.uk as well as on this website www.EmotionalHealthForEmotionalWealth.co.uk

Waterstones came back to me saying that I needed to work with one of the content aggregators that they use: www.eBookpartnership.com (Mint Associates Ltd.) or Easy Press Technologies (www.easypress.com).  Rachel Abbott speaks well of her experience with eBookpartnership on their website so that is who I will probably use.  They also have the advantage of including Barnes & Nobel and Ingrams in their ‘stable’ of distributers/retailers.  Further, Gardners Books Ltd. (a major UK distributor) work with them which opens up 77 retail possibilities including Tesco, Foyles, and Hive.  Of course, Amazon & Apple are places where eBookpartnerships send your e-book too.

Waterstones require VAT registration and I have not done that as my sales do not warrant it yet and I hate the thought of the paperwork.  That is where using a content aggregator helps because they are VAT registered and there is VAT on e-books I understand!

Waterstones require an ISBN connected to the Enhanced Service of Nielsens.  This is available via eBookpartnership for a yearly fee.  As a small publisher I could buy Nielsen’s Enhanced Service, but for now at least the eBookpartnership option is a smaller upfront cost.  Waterstones apparently will not deal with Lulu nor Smashwords so whilst I have published one of my e-books via Smashwords they don’t look so good an option now if I want the broadest of marketing possibilities.

I’ve read the contracts from eBookpartnership and they do make it clear that whilst they can ‘push’ the information about my book out to their retailers, those retailers have their own approval process prior to listing me on their websites.  What is worse, the retailers control the price they charge for my e-book and if they decide to discount it my royalties shrink.  Still worth the risk?

I think Matt Horner of eBookpartnerships has been clever in the format that has been  created for this enterprise – they get their fees upfront so they cannot lose.  Hats off to them.  EasyPress Technologies and Smashwords take commission on sales, is my understanding, so that might be a more effective system for authors.  I simply cannot agonise over the options!

It is not enough to write a book or e-book – you do have to be willing to market your work through press releases, book reviews, book signings (obviously for paperbacks not e-books), talks to groups of readers, use Twitter, Google +, Facebook, Linked In, www.Goodreads.com, forums, and as many places to tell people about your work as you can find!

 

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