Japan Today Article

Twitter has allowed me to ‘meet’ people all around the world including the Editor of Japan Today an English language newspaper in Japan.  What a stroke of luck!  He kindly allowed me to send him a press release and then printed it!  I feel very honoured and absolutely thrilled to know that people in Japan know about me and my self help ebooks.  How marvelous the internet is for all of us!  It’s life changing for me!

Here is what was printed in Japan Today:-

“New Help for those with nowhere else to turn…

Tokyo – Domestic violence, rape, bullying, depression and alcoholism are more common in relationships than we care to think.  They are all issues most women don’t ever dare speak about, even to their mothers or closest friends.  But the wall of silence often surrounding them means many people have nowhere to turn for help they desperately need. 

Psychotherapist and Author, Susan Jane Smith, recognizes this is a problem potentially facing Japanese society, among others.  Her self-help book, “Emotional Health for Emotional Wealth” offers practical, sensitive guidance on dealing with these taboo subjects and many forms of emotional pain. 

( It is now available in Japan for the first time via http://Amazon.jp./gp/product/B005FFTNEY)

Subtitled “The View from the Therapist’s Office”, the book also includes chapters on love, parenting through divorce, stress and bereavement.  Smith has over 20 years’ experience as a psychotherapist in the UK and the USA.  She has counselled thousands of women – and men – in ways of coping with all manner of emotional challenges, both within and outside marriage and relationships.

“Nothing shocks me,” she says.  “But I know how difficult it can be for people to speak openly about things like domestic violence or abuse, particularly in non-Western cultures.  My book is designed to help them confront and manage all sorts of types of emotional pain.  This pain needs healing before a person can have the emotional wealth required for a happier life, hence the title of my book.”

“If you feel you can’t speak to anyone about your emotional problems or you just want to better understand how to deal with them, then “Emotional Health for Emotional Wealth” will give you support and guidance.”

Smith’s other self-help book “Pre-Marital MOT: A Relationship Inspection” is also now available in Japan.  It is designed to enable betrothed couples to assess their relationship before the wedding and to highlight and hopefully address potential emotional problems.  As Smith states: “Marriage is so much more than just the ceremony.”

Pre-Marital MOT: A Relationship Inspection” can be downloaded from Amazon on http://amazon.jp/gp/product/B005LSD62A

 Personally, I am very grateful that Japan Today published this information so if you know anyone in Japan please share it with them. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Domination!

My Twitter followers number over 1800 now and many are following, I suspect, because I am open about being a survivor of incest, rape and domestic violence.  My childhood suffering has driven a need within me for knowledge and understanding.  I’ve read all the self help books I could and I re-trained to do counselling when in my thirties. I trained as a divorce mediator also.  I’ve spent over twenty years looking at other people’s lives as well as my own.  You can find out more about me in my Amazon Author Bio and on the About Me page of www.EmotionalHealthForEmotionalWealth.co.uk

One theme runs through a lot of my observations:  domination.  It does not need to be as severe as abuse.  It can be as subtle as not saying what you actually want.  It may be that one person in a relationship controls the money and, therefore, can chose where the couple live, what they eat, clothes they wear, and where they go.  This is an unbalanced relationship.  One person has more control than the other.

Negotiating a win win is the most equitable style of living togther so you both get some of what you each want. In a compromise, each person has to give up something to get to the middle, so negotiation is the best way forward.

When a persom is dominant it is being driven by fear and their inadequacies and an inability to cope. They usually have poor communication skills and those could be improved if the dominent person had the incentive to do that work.  In my opinion, counselling and personal growth is the only way forward.  Sadly for many who are dominent their very fears (particularly of change) keep them trapped and unable to seek help.  Frequently destroying a relationship – so sad.  Further, not a good example to any children of the relationship.

 

 

 

 

 

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E-Book Publishing Adventure

Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L.James has sold brilliantly and yes, I am jealous that my book Emotional Health For Emotional Wealth is selling slowly.  What I wrote as a Psychotherapist is the polar opposite of the ‘mummy porn’ which includes sadomasochism in Fifty Shades.  My husband wants to know why I don’t write books like that as they make money – well, I would not dream of it, because what you read affects what your mind is willing to tolerate in real life and, in my opinion, Fifty Shades opens women up to tolerating abuse in their sexual lives.

This promped me to take a second look at what Rachel Abbott (author of Only the Innocent) wrote as a guest blog on www.AuthorsElectric.co.uk  (30 July 2012) about marketing e-books.  My paperback of Emotional Health for Emotional Wealth sold at Foyles and Waterstones so I investigated how to get the e-book sold there too.  It already sells on www.Amazon.com and www.Amazon.co.uk as well as on this website www.EmotionalHealthForEmotionalWealth.co.uk

Waterstones came back to me saying that I needed to work with one of the content aggregators that they use: www.eBookpartnership.com (Mint Associates Ltd.) or Easy Press Technologies (www.easypress.com).  Rachel Abbott speaks well of her experience with eBookpartnership on their website so that is who I will probably use.  They also have the advantage of including Barnes & Nobel and Ingrams in their ‘stable’ of distributers/retailers.  Further, Gardners Books Ltd. (a major UK distributor) work with them which opens up 77 retail possibilities including Tesco, Foyles, and Hive.  Of course, Amazon & Apple are places where eBookpartnerships send your e-book too.

Waterstones require VAT registration and I have not done that as my sales do not warrant it yet and I hate the thought of the paperwork.  That is where using a content aggregator helps because they are VAT registered and there is VAT on e-books I understand!

Waterstones require an ISBN connected to the Enhanced Service of Nielsens.  This is available via eBookpartnership for a yearly fee.  As a small publisher I could buy Nielsen’s Enhanced Service, but for now at least the eBookpartnership option is a smaller upfront cost.  Waterstones apparently will not deal with Lulu nor Smashwords so whilst I have published one of my e-books via Smashwords they don’t look so good an option now if I want the broadest of marketing possibilities.

I’ve read the contracts from eBookpartnership and they do make it clear that whilst they can ‘push’ the information about my book out to their retailers, those retailers have their own approval process prior to listing me on their websites.  What is worse, the retailers control the price they charge for my e-book and if they decide to discount it my royalties shrink.  Still worth the risk?

I think Matt Horner of eBookpartnerships has been clever in the format that has been  created for this enterprise – they get their fees upfront so they cannot lose.  Hats off to them.  EasyPress Technologies and Smashwords take commission on sales, is my understanding, so that might be a more effective system for authors.  I simply cannot agonise over the options!

It is not enough to write a book or e-book – you do have to be willing to market your work through press releases, book reviews, book signings (obviously for paperbacks not e-books), talks to groups of readers, use Twitter, Google +, Facebook, Linked In, www.Goodreads.com, forums, and as many places to tell people about your work as you can find!

 

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Let Me Tell You About Adele

Adelle was a little girl who went to stay with some relatives in a big city.  One day a man offered her some marbles.  She followed him to his home, but it was not just marbles that were waiting for her there.  To find out more please read my book/e-book “Sexual Abuse & Incest”- it’s priced at £1 for accessibility.

I’ll be writing blogs that are inspired by my books.  In my opinion, my e-book “Sexual Abuse & Incest” is great value for money!  It is based on over 20 years of helping victims become survivors and go on to thrive.  If child sexual abuse or incest has been a part of your life do take a look and see the other resources contained therein.

My passion about this particular book comes from the fact that I have managed to survive incestuous abuse from my biological father when I was 2 years to 7 years old.  When I needed help with this 30 years ago there was very little written.  I ended up reading mostly research papers.  Clinical Psychologist, Essie Hull, managed to get me to face all the pain that I buried for so long.  She saved my life.

Incest is the betrayal of trust – and I think the worst because it leaves you without family support all too often.  The non-offending parent frequently will take a perpetrator’s side over that of the child because they really do not want to believe it could be true.

Now that does not mean that child sexual abuse is not a betrayal of trust – obviously it is.  So is physical and emotional child abuse.  Sometimes a child gets lucky and gets some support from a family member.  Sometimes not.

Whilst Social Workers are over-worked and burdened by too heavy a case load, I do not understand the public’s hesitancy to ask for their help.  That’s probably a different blog.

Statistically everyone knows someone who has been abused in some way.  Please do tell anyone you know (who needs my book as a starting place) about my book because no child should carry the burden of being abused.  The child is not to blame.  If you want to understand more, educate yourself by reading my book and the others that are now available…particularly “The Courage to Heal” by Elaine Bass and Laura Davies.

A couple of decades ago a client wrote this poem about her experiences.  I have long since lost contact with her so have not been able to get her permission to re-print it, but given how she felt about it at the time I think she would be glad if it might help someone else know that they are not alone.  I still cry every time I read this:-

THE PAIN

Memories that I wish could be mine

A Daddy so caring, strong, so fine

A man to admire, worship, adore

A source of guidance, loving and sure

A safe love: one that shelters and shields

A wise discipline he gently wields

But sadly these will never be true

The man who fathered me was you

The memories I can recall

Invaded my body, raped my soul

A childhood innocence and trust

Twisted and broken to serve your lust

The taste, the smell, the look in your eyes

The vicious words, the callous lies

My tears – your aim, my pain – your pleasure

What memories for you to treasure!

A little girl made to whimper and cower

Was this your idea of masculine power?

‘Evil’ the word, no other will do

For the years of hell you put me through

You hurt, despised, degraded and defiled

You had total control when I was a child

I kept your secret for so many years

It burdened my life, walled-up my tears

So long the pain I’ve had to hide

Repressed, twisted, buried, denied

I let nobody close, no one could know

For fear the badness inside me would show

But soon I’ll be angry, bitter and sad

Grieve for the childhood that I never had

There’s no turning back, I want to be free

And find the woman I am meant to be

The path is so hard though, the road so long

I tremble and doubt, can I be so strong?

I follow the flame of life inside

It’s burned so low, but never quite died.

All this is true of little boys too.  For some it is abuse by a mother and some a father and some another relative or person.  It still destroys lives unless you reach out and tell – preferably a professional.

 

 

 

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