Grab It Whilst You Can!

Way back in the 1960′s, when I was a teenager, I read a book about two lads having a great time with life and I believe that paperback was called “Grab It While You Can”.  The book has long since been lost or given away and the author’s name a mystery to me now.  Still the title stuck with me as a way of living your life.  Life seems to get shorter with age so I am firmly of the belief that you need to get on living your dreams or whatever life you want to create for yourself.

A couple of weeks ago I was traumatised when I went to see an elderly Aunt only to discover that she had fallen upstairs in her house and could not summon help.  I had to get the police to break a window and a lovely ambulance man dove through and let us in.  I had expected to find her dead, yet what we found was a crumpled heap -  cold but alive.  She had been in her very cold bedroom, on the floor in a nightie, for about 4 hours.  Still she was lucky and is now in hospital and recovering.  She looked so frail when I found her.

The trauma for me was that it re-created when I found my Mother dead.  In both instances my body’s reaction, as I called the emergency services, was to shake uncontrollably.  It has taken me all this time to be able to feel normal again.  My reactions are probably worse because I struggle with Post Traumatic Stress as a result of abuse in childhood. 

Nevertheless, it has been a good reminder that we all need to grab life NOW!  I have so much I want to do and time seems to be shortening.  When young you feel as if you have forever to accomplish your dreams.  Not so…get on with it.

Bereavement and ill health are forms of loss.  You can also experience loss and need to grieve when you lose a job, a pet, a friend, a relationship.  Learn to understand that the process of grief is, in simplistic terms: feelings of unreality (shock), sadness, anger (yes even if unreasonably at the person who has died and abandoned you) and acceptance. 

This is not a linear progression.  You can be sad one minute and angry the next.  The feelings can come at inappropriate times like whilst shopping.  The first year is the hardest and the second is slightly easier to bear when there is a serious loss.  If you feel stuck in grief do get some counselling to help you move on.  Whatever you have lost cannot be returned into your life by holding on to the pain of the loss.

Luckily in my thirties I experienced ten family deaths in six years.  A lot for any person.  I now consider it fortunate as I was forced to learn to cope through those losses.  My e-book Loss is Part of Life is available in this website’s book store or via Amazon worldwide.  It was written with the intention to help provide support and understanding.

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By Susan Jane Smith B.Sc.


Forget ‘Dancing Queen ‘ (song by Abba) I think I’ve become the Self-Help Queen now that my 23 books/e-books are for sale on Amazon!

I am a survivor of incest, rape, domestic violence and the miscarriage of my baby.  I spent 3 years in counselling in the U.S.A. and turned my life around personally and professionally.  I re-trained.

Over 20 years as a Psychotherapist and 5 years as a Divorce Mediator followed.  Now I am writing self-help e-books to help other people.  I hope my books will inspire you to change your life if you are sad, angry, stressed, depressed or unhappy.

My 17 e-books in the Little Book Series of Emotional Health for Emotional Wealth were written to give you a starting place – some basic information and support.  Through Amazon they are selling world-wide:  U.S.A., Canada, U.K., France, Germany, Spain, Italy, India, Brazil, Japan, China and via in Australia and New Zealand.

If you read self-help books please check these out:-

Sexual Abuse & Incest

Physical & Emotional Abuse Hurts the World as Well as The Child

Rape Not Sexual Assault

Charming Men and Chauvinists (about domestic violence)

What Passes for Passion on TV (about loving too much/obsessing)

Walking on Egg Shells (about anger)

My Drinking Isn’t A Problem!

Feeling Down?

Parenting Your Way Through Divorce

Food and Thought

Superwoman Does Not Exist (about stress)

Loss is Part of Life (about bereavement and other loss)

Why Walk Into a Therapist’s Office?

What Every 16 Year Old Needs to Know About Love

How a Functional Family Might Look Like

How Not To Be A Doormat


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