Adelle was a little girl who went to stay with some relatives in a big city. One day a man offered her some marbles. She followed him to his home, but it was not just marbles that were waiting for her there. To find out more please read my book/e-book “Sexual Abuse & Incest”- it’s priced at £1 for accessibility.
I’ll be writing blogs that are inspired by my books. In my opinion, my e-book “Sexual Abuse & Incest” is great value for money! It is based on over 20 years of helping victims become survivors and go on to thrive. If child sexual abuse or incest has been a part of your life do take a look and see the other resources contained therein.
My passion about this particular book comes from the fact that I have managed to survive incestuous abuse from my biological father when I was 2 years to 7 years old. When I needed help with this 30 years ago there was very little written. I ended up reading mostly research papers. Clinical Psychologist, Essie Hull, managed to get me to face all the pain that I buried for so long. She saved my life.
Incest is the betrayal of trust – and I think the worst because it leaves you without family support all too often. The non-offending parent frequently will take a perpetrator’s side over that of the child because they really do not want to believe it could be true.
Now that does not mean that child sexual abuse is not a betrayal of trust – obviously it is. So is physical and emotional child abuse. Sometimes a child gets lucky and gets some support from a family member. Sometimes not.
Whilst Social Workers are over-worked and burdened by too heavy a case load, I do not understand the public’s hesitancy to ask for their help. That’s probably a different blog.
Statistically everyone knows someone who has been abused in some way. Please do tell anyone you know (who needs my book as a starting place) about my book because no child should carry the burden of being abused. The child is not to blame. If you want to understand more, educate yourself by reading my book and the others that are now available…particularly “The Courage to Heal” by Elaine Bass and Laura Davies.
A couple of decades ago a client wrote this poem about her experiences. I have long since lost contact with her so have not been able to get her permission to re-print it, but given how she felt about it at the time I think she would be glad if it might help someone else know that they are not alone. I still cry every time I read this:-
Memories that I wish could be mine
A Daddy so caring, strong, so fine
A man to admire, worship, adore
A source of guidance, loving and sure
A safe love: one that shelters and shields
A wise discipline he gently wields
But sadly these will never be true
The man who fathered me was you
The memories I can recall
Invaded my body, raped my soul
A childhood innocence and trust
Twisted and broken to serve your lust
The taste, the smell, the look in your eyes
The vicious words, the callous lies
My tears – your aim, my pain – your pleasure
What memories for you to treasure!
A little girl made to whimper and cower
Was this your idea of masculine power?
‘Evil’ the word, no other will do
For the years of hell you put me through
You hurt, despised, degraded and defiled
You had total control when I was a child
I kept your secret for so many years
It burdened my life, walled-up my tears
So long the pain I’ve had to hide
Repressed, twisted, buried, denied
I let nobody close, no one could know
For fear the badness inside me would show
But soon I’ll be angry, bitter and sad
Grieve for the childhood that I never had
There’s no turning back, I want to be free
And find the woman I am meant to be
The path is so hard though, the road so long
I tremble and doubt, can I be so strong?
I follow the flame of life inside
It’s burned so low, but never quite died.
All this is true of little boys too. For some it is abuse by a mother and some a father and some another relative or person. It still destroys lives unless you reach out and tell – preferably a professional.